A little time for a little post...history
I think I lived most of the fisrt 30 years of my life on a slight manic ride. I always had too much energy, slept too little, worked too hard at whatever I was doing, had to omany projects going on most of the time (and managed to finsih most of them well). And I loved stress. Lived for it. Nothing was too much or too big to tackle. Looking back, there were a couple flare-ups of depression before age 30. Both occured on Christmas Day about 2 years apart when I was about 23 and 25 respectively. Strange, out of the blue, sadness. Short lived (15-30 minutes) both times. Otherwise, depression wasn't part of my life until late 2000. That's when I let the stress get too high. I was in a law practice, had two kids and a wife and we lived well, and I was in the process of opening a retail business. One day, it just came crashing down.
As I mentioned earlier, I am a lawyer by training. I've been out of practice for almost 6 years. I have lost any meaningful sense of time while dealing with depression, but I think its been about 6 years. I work in the mortgage business (seems you can't throw a rock without hitting a mortgage or real estate person), and have taken a series of lesser paying jobs in search of a place with less stress. It hasn't worked. I'm making less money, yes. I'm having less stress, no.
Last Tuesday was my last day at work for a while. I was scheduled to begin ECT last Friday. Insurance issues got in the way, so I was delayed. So, last Tuesday, I let my manager know I would be out for a while. I have since filed for short-term disability to get me through the treatment period. Stress seems to be my depression trigger, although declaring a winner between the chicken and the egg is tough: Does the stress beget the depression, or does the depression beget the stress? I've been home and at Dr. appointments and on the phone with insurances since then. My mood today seems pretty good so far. I have a mentally ill son (schizo-affective disorder) who lives in a residential treatment center. He's 12 and he's my hero. I'm picking him up for an orthodontic appointment amd lunch today. Today is the last day I will be able to drive for a while (under ECT Doc orders.)
The link in my post yesterday continues to irritate me. The case cited concerns a 60 year old former psychiatric nurse. The author does not mention a dtate for this case The patient had worked in the field of psychiatric medicine for, presumably, many years? Further, the fact that a jury in the US or anywhere does anything is proof of absolutely nothing reasonable. Remember the McDonalds "hot coffee" case? These are juries of our "peers." Look around you. How many people do you see around you in which you would trust your fate? And twelve of those people in a locked room together only leads to the mean IQ plummeting exponentially. The procedure is called "electroconvulsive therapy", not electroshock (at least not in this century, era, or decade), and 13 treatments over a 2 or 3 week period is considered therapeutic. How can a jury find that her impariment was due to ECT? Do they "know" her? Did they know her before the treatment? She was 60. Assuming from the fact that she was having ECT, she was ill. I'm ill. I can speak first hand...I've lost cognitive ability and big chuncks of memory from depression alone. And I'm not 60. Depression is a degenerative disease. The more major depressions, the more you lose. A jury beleives what the best looking expert tells them, and usually what they hear last. And, the staistic that 100,000 people in the US undergo ECT each year can cut both ways. To me, it says that 100,000 people choose that route over meds which, in my case at least, don't work. And, again updating to this decade, involuntary ECT is rare. States won't order it in most cases because of the groups of protestors who, in large part, have never dealt with mental illness, the MI system, medications for MI, or any of the other life aspects that go along for the ride. This leaves only the wealthy or well insured with access to the treatment. Finally, ECT in some form, has been around since 1938...true. That's almost 30 years. And there have been many lawsuits. Cars have been around for a long time, are an invaluable part fo our society, and there have been many lawsuits over safety. Cesarian section procedures have been around for a long time, have saved countless lives of mothers and children, and have caused some complications, including deaths. There have been many, many lawsuits. Should we get rid of the cars and medical procedures because of some bad results (or in many cases, bacause of some plaintiffs looking for a big payday for nothing?) I think I would rather have the freedom to choose my poison. Maybe therein lies the problem. People don't want to have to think, to weigh options and make rational decisions. They want it done for them, and to rely on the decisions made, and to not be accountable for the outcome, and to complain when something bad happens, pinning the blame on someone, anyone, other than themselves. Maybe people need to think. For themselves or with others, but think nonetheless. End of rant.
As I mentioned earlier, I am a lawyer by training. I've been out of practice for almost 6 years. I have lost any meaningful sense of time while dealing with depression, but I think its been about 6 years. I work in the mortgage business (seems you can't throw a rock without hitting a mortgage or real estate person), and have taken a series of lesser paying jobs in search of a place with less stress. It hasn't worked. I'm making less money, yes. I'm having less stress, no.
Last Tuesday was my last day at work for a while. I was scheduled to begin ECT last Friday. Insurance issues got in the way, so I was delayed. So, last Tuesday, I let my manager know I would be out for a while. I have since filed for short-term disability to get me through the treatment period. Stress seems to be my depression trigger, although declaring a winner between the chicken and the egg is tough: Does the stress beget the depression, or does the depression beget the stress? I've been home and at Dr. appointments and on the phone with insurances since then. My mood today seems pretty good so far. I have a mentally ill son (schizo-affective disorder) who lives in a residential treatment center. He's 12 and he's my hero. I'm picking him up for an orthodontic appointment amd lunch today. Today is the last day I will be able to drive for a while (under ECT Doc orders.)
The link in my post yesterday continues to irritate me. The case cited concerns a 60 year old former psychiatric nurse. The author does not mention a dtate for this case The patient had worked in the field of psychiatric medicine for, presumably, many years? Further, the fact that a jury in the US or anywhere does anything is proof of absolutely nothing reasonable. Remember the McDonalds "hot coffee" case? These are juries of our "peers." Look around you. How many people do you see around you in which you would trust your fate? And twelve of those people in a locked room together only leads to the mean IQ plummeting exponentially. The procedure is called "electroconvulsive therapy", not electroshock (at least not in this century, era, or decade), and 13 treatments over a 2 or 3 week period is considered therapeutic. How can a jury find that her impariment was due to ECT? Do they "know" her? Did they know her before the treatment? She was 60. Assuming from the fact that she was having ECT, she was ill. I'm ill. I can speak first hand...I've lost cognitive ability and big chuncks of memory from depression alone. And I'm not 60. Depression is a degenerative disease. The more major depressions, the more you lose. A jury beleives what the best looking expert tells them, and usually what they hear last. And, the staistic that 100,000 people in the US undergo ECT each year can cut both ways. To me, it says that 100,000 people choose that route over meds which, in my case at least, don't work. And, again updating to this decade, involuntary ECT is rare. States won't order it in most cases because of the groups of protestors who, in large part, have never dealt with mental illness, the MI system, medications for MI, or any of the other life aspects that go along for the ride. This leaves only the wealthy or well insured with access to the treatment. Finally, ECT in some form, has been around since 1938...true. That's almost 30 years. And there have been many lawsuits. Cars have been around for a long time, are an invaluable part fo our society, and there have been many lawsuits over safety. Cesarian section procedures have been around for a long time, have saved countless lives of mothers and children, and have caused some complications, including deaths. There have been many, many lawsuits. Should we get rid of the cars and medical procedures because of some bad results (or in many cases, bacause of some plaintiffs looking for a big payday for nothing?) I think I would rather have the freedom to choose my poison. Maybe therein lies the problem. People don't want to have to think, to weigh options and make rational decisions. They want it done for them, and to rely on the decisions made, and to not be accountable for the outcome, and to complain when something bad happens, pinning the blame on someone, anyone, other than themselves. Maybe people need to think. For themselves or with others, but think nonetheless. End of rant.
posted by DeMental at 7:55 AM
3 Comments:
Hey Mike,
I think you're on to something... there are a lot of people that prefer not to take responsibility for their choices.
In the group I run, I wrote these lines:
"I just thought of a metaphore, because I know many people either
struggle with the "bipolar trip" concept thinking it implies mental
illness does not exist or something.
Imagine you have a dear old physical disease: a tooth cavity (like: bipolar disorder). The cavity aches, sometimes spontaneously, sometimes provocked. Now, imagine it hurts so much you have to take a pain killer (like a mood stabilizer).
Then, imagine you eat a lot of sugar and avoid to brush your teeth
(like: triggers). The pain killer won't be enough, and you'll need
more.
Now, you basically have two options:
1. take the pain killer and brush your teeth right after eating
(like bipolar management)
OR
2. take the pain killer, not brushing your teeth after eating and b*tching at how unfortunate you are in having a cavity that hurts so much (like bipolar trip).
The concept of "bipolar trip" does NOT imply that bipolar is not a
physical disorder. It does imply, however, that it doesn't make much
sense to trigger a physical disorder and then complain about what a b*tch that disorder is."
Btw nice blog, keep up with the good work!
Hay definitivamente algo sobre �l que los intereses yo.Deeply, Bernardina true story bulimia
I really appreciate the fact that you are very objective in your writing so far. I have only read these first two posts and I am astounded at the objectivity. I appreciate that you are willing to admit that meds don't work...FOR YOU! I think all brains are NOT created equal and I really like your input.
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