Ups and Downs
Yesterday was a rollercoaster. I got up and was good in the morning. Happy, felt good. I played racquetball at 9:00 with my Thursday morning regulars. I just couldn’t seem to get into the game. My chest was really sore from weights on Wed, and I think that was interfering with my racquet swing. Soon, I lost confidence in my shots and had this mental “don’t miss this shot” psychology going on as I set up every shot. Its amazing how a little mental glitch like that can take you from “good player” to “total shmoe” in no time. I managed to win a couple games, but not a pretty day on the court. I did surprisingly ok, mentally, with not playing well. The perfectionist in me usually has more trouble with having a “bad day.” Maybe I’m getting somewhere.
Came home and took a 2nd Risperdal just on Dr. Galasow’s suggestion. He suggested taking 2 a day every day until I got the rapid thoughts back under control. I did some work around the house. My task list for home projects is getting short. I am beginning to have time, for the first time in a while, to work on other projects (i.e. a little tie-dye business for the web – working on a web page, where to host it, how to set it up – mostly just a hobby which has the potential to become an obsession if not careful. Also, working on getting my past journals into web form so I can share a little deeper glimpse of how my illness progressed.)
I was supposed to go help a friend take apart a swing set, but forgot an appointment to go to my son’s “school” for the “Learning Fair”. I had to call, apologize for my oversight, and cancel the swing set project. I dread those things at Mic’s school. Partly because its just so hard to see substantive evidence of where he is education wise, but mostly because those functions always lead to a total emotional melt down for my son on the way home or after we get home. The dread of that breakdown and the breakdown itself are just so BAD for my own mental health, and that creates this very negative cycle for him and I. I feel like we would both be best served if I just skipped those types of things. Yesterday was no different. He started triggering before we even left the school, revved up on the way home, and totally lost it at home. Melissa and Maggie went to something at her school (poor, busy Melissa) and I stayed home and dealt with Mic. All the while, my stomach was killing me from something I ate. So, a pretty good day went to shit by evening and just ended badly. Then, our realtor called with the first negative feedback on our house (on the market.) Its one set of feedback, nothing to get too worked up about, but its still a bummer and sort of throws a kink into planning the whole sell, move, buy process.
Today, Mic had two of his wisdom teeth out, and I get to be at home with him for recovery. Fun, fun. At least we didn’t have 6 showings booked today forcing us to be gone all day with Mic in pain and drugged up. He’s been “out” on the couch all day.
Came home and took a 2nd Risperdal just on Dr. Galasow’s suggestion. He suggested taking 2 a day every day until I got the rapid thoughts back under control. I did some work around the house. My task list for home projects is getting short. I am beginning to have time, for the first time in a while, to work on other projects (i.e. a little tie-dye business for the web – working on a web page, where to host it, how to set it up – mostly just a hobby which has the potential to become an obsession if not careful. Also, working on getting my past journals into web form so I can share a little deeper glimpse of how my illness progressed.)
I was supposed to go help a friend take apart a swing set, but forgot an appointment to go to my son’s “school” for the “Learning Fair”. I had to call, apologize for my oversight, and cancel the swing set project. I dread those things at Mic’s school. Partly because its just so hard to see substantive evidence of where he is education wise, but mostly because those functions always lead to a total emotional melt down for my son on the way home or after we get home. The dread of that breakdown and the breakdown itself are just so BAD for my own mental health, and that creates this very negative cycle for him and I. I feel like we would both be best served if I just skipped those types of things. Yesterday was no different. He started triggering before we even left the school, revved up on the way home, and totally lost it at home. Melissa and Maggie went to something at her school (poor, busy Melissa) and I stayed home and dealt with Mic. All the while, my stomach was killing me from something I ate. So, a pretty good day went to shit by evening and just ended badly. Then, our realtor called with the first negative feedback on our house (on the market.) Its one set of feedback, nothing to get too worked up about, but its still a bummer and sort of throws a kink into planning the whole sell, move, buy process.
Today, Mic had two of his wisdom teeth out, and I get to be at home with him for recovery. Fun, fun. At least we didn’t have 6 showings booked today forcing us to be gone all day with Mic in pain and drugged up. He’s been “out” on the couch all day.
posted by DeMental at 4:32 PM
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