Two down...
Seizure #1 stats: Last time, my Beck Depression Scale was 36. This time, 40. Higher is not better. But as I've mentioned, I was pretty down last night and some today. The "real" seizure (there's a word for it, but I can't remember it) lasted 20 seconds. The EEG readout showed 62 seconds of seizure activity. Doc said that I seized at the first setting on the machine, meaning at the lowest electrical stimulation. (remember this was the titration, discovering what my seizure threshold is. Less stimulation, less memory deficit (usually.) Today, she called it a "very nice seizure." Whatever the hell that means.
I was less scared today that Wednesday...but ONLY a very little. I didn't consider jumping off of the gurney in my hospital gown and fleeing like last time, but I certainly contemplated how much I did NOT want to do this treatment. I was pretty teary while in pre-op. I talked to the Doc before-hand about leg pain last time, and then to the anesthesiologist. He said that there is a med they can give you pre-procedure which can prevent it somewhat, but you wake up slower and are much more unsteady for a while. The paralytic actually causes all of your muscles to “fire", causing a twitch all over like a shiver. Muscles are then unable to "fire" again for long enough to get the treatment done. The other med prevents that shiver. I opted to forego, given that the muscle soreness is totally gone today anyway.
They run the treatment like a machine. There hadn't been any warning either time. One minute you are sitting there trying to be calm, and the next a nurse says "Well, I guess were ready to go." Both times I've gone in early. Today it was almost a full hour (someone ahead of me had made the mistake of eating a "bite of a candy bar" about noon, and then confessing to it to a nurse. No solids food after midnight! So they delayed her treatment until a six hour digestion window had run. Today I rolled out of pre-op at 2:03 and was in recovery at 2:22. In the OR, one nurse puts a cuff on my leg, one hooks up my pulse ox monitor, one puts on the BP cuff, the doc puts on the electrodes, and anesthesiologist does his thing and puts the O2 mask on. Oh, and another nurse lays a warm blanket over me. She's my favorite because its freaking cold in there!. Then the anesthesiologist tells me he's injecting the sleep med. Both times its been about 5 breathes before the IV drug hits home. Both times, the same WAWAWAWAWA noise has sort of crept from a whisper to siren volume. Today I heard myself say "here it comes."
The greatest thing in the world is being that scared, and then, just as you put the first hook into consciousness, a voice says "Hi, you're all done. Just rest." Today, there was a major headache after a few minutes of awakening. I have no clue how many minutes. Somehow, again, form 2:22 until 4:30 went by in a flash. But the head pain was intense. Like an ice pick in my right temple. I am having "right unilateral" ECT, meaning current run through the right hemisphere of the brain only. If this method works, it causes less memory issues. If it doesn't work, or is less effective, then bilateral ECT is used. Current run from one side of the head to the other. Right unilateral, thus the right side ice pick. Thankfully, they make WONDERFUL main meds for just such times. They gave me 1.5 mg of fentanyl in IV. It was like diving into a warm bath. Oh yeah, and the headache went away. The headache came back sometime later, and the nurse hit me again. I never knew headaches could be so great.
After who knows how long in Recovery I, I got moves to Recovery II. My wife can come back to see me at this point. I really felt much better after this time than last (other than the headache). No leg pain, but my jaw is still a little stiff. I was talking to the nurse (same nurses as last time) in Recovery II about last treatment. Her comment was "I'm surprised how much you remember from last time. Many patients get here after #2 and don't know who I am.
I wasn't in Recovery more than 30 minutes. Much more steady on my feet than last time, although no less foggy. Maybe more so. I've had a couple instances since leaving the hospital when I have been talking and I reached into my memory bag for a word or memory form today or yesterday, and the bag was empty. To be expected, I suppose. If that is the price to pay for ending the misery I felt last night and for much of the last 5 years, its a bargain.
My Doc came into Recovery I to see me, see how I was doing. She was surprised how quickly I was awake. She said I started coming out of the anesthesia not too long after the procedure was over. The anesthesiologist and I talked pre-op. He asked about how hard it was to wake up last time and how I felt. He told me that he tries to give me no more than I need to keep me out long enough, but enough to leave no memory of the event and a safe margin for error. I stressed that I would rather be groggy than have any chance of having the lights still on when Dr. Frankenstein throws the switch ( I put it more delicately than that, of course.)
Haven't eaten since 9:00 last night. Its 5:24 now, and I'm not hungry at all. I guess that will come. Time to crash.
I was less scared today that Wednesday...but ONLY a very little. I didn't consider jumping off of the gurney in my hospital gown and fleeing like last time, but I certainly contemplated how much I did NOT want to do this treatment. I was pretty teary while in pre-op. I talked to the Doc before-hand about leg pain last time, and then to the anesthesiologist. He said that there is a med they can give you pre-procedure which can prevent it somewhat, but you wake up slower and are much more unsteady for a while. The paralytic actually causes all of your muscles to “fire", causing a twitch all over like a shiver. Muscles are then unable to "fire" again for long enough to get the treatment done. The other med prevents that shiver. I opted to forego, given that the muscle soreness is totally gone today anyway.
They run the treatment like a machine. There hadn't been any warning either time. One minute you are sitting there trying to be calm, and the next a nurse says "Well, I guess were ready to go." Both times I've gone in early. Today it was almost a full hour (someone ahead of me had made the mistake of eating a "bite of a candy bar" about noon, and then confessing to it to a nurse. No solids food after midnight! So they delayed her treatment until a six hour digestion window had run. Today I rolled out of pre-op at 2:03 and was in recovery at 2:22. In the OR, one nurse puts a cuff on my leg, one hooks up my pulse ox monitor, one puts on the BP cuff, the doc puts on the electrodes, and anesthesiologist does his thing and puts the O2 mask on. Oh, and another nurse lays a warm blanket over me. She's my favorite because its freaking cold in there!. Then the anesthesiologist tells me he's injecting the sleep med. Both times its been about 5 breathes before the IV drug hits home. Both times, the same WAWAWAWAWA noise has sort of crept from a whisper to siren volume. Today I heard myself say "here it comes."
The greatest thing in the world is being that scared, and then, just as you put the first hook into consciousness, a voice says "Hi, you're all done. Just rest." Today, there was a major headache after a few minutes of awakening. I have no clue how many minutes. Somehow, again, form 2:22 until 4:30 went by in a flash. But the head pain was intense. Like an ice pick in my right temple. I am having "right unilateral" ECT, meaning current run through the right hemisphere of the brain only. If this method works, it causes less memory issues. If it doesn't work, or is less effective, then bilateral ECT is used. Current run from one side of the head to the other. Right unilateral, thus the right side ice pick. Thankfully, they make WONDERFUL main meds for just such times. They gave me 1.5 mg of fentanyl in IV. It was like diving into a warm bath. Oh yeah, and the headache went away. The headache came back sometime later, and the nurse hit me again. I never knew headaches could be so great.
After who knows how long in Recovery I, I got moves to Recovery II. My wife can come back to see me at this point. I really felt much better after this time than last (other than the headache). No leg pain, but my jaw is still a little stiff. I was talking to the nurse (same nurses as last time) in Recovery II about last treatment. Her comment was "I'm surprised how much you remember from last time. Many patients get here after #2 and don't know who I am.
I wasn't in Recovery more than 30 minutes. Much more steady on my feet than last time, although no less foggy. Maybe more so. I've had a couple instances since leaving the hospital when I have been talking and I reached into my memory bag for a word or memory form today or yesterday, and the bag was empty. To be expected, I suppose. If that is the price to pay for ending the misery I felt last night and for much of the last 5 years, its a bargain.
My Doc came into Recovery I to see me, see how I was doing. She was surprised how quickly I was awake. She said I started coming out of the anesthesia not too long after the procedure was over. The anesthesiologist and I talked pre-op. He asked about how hard it was to wake up last time and how I felt. He told me that he tries to give me no more than I need to keep me out long enough, but enough to leave no memory of the event and a safe margin for error. I stressed that I would rather be groggy than have any chance of having the lights still on when Dr. Frankenstein throws the switch ( I put it more delicately than that, of course.)
Haven't eaten since 9:00 last night. Its 5:24 now, and I'm not hungry at all. I guess that will come. Time to crash.
posted by DeMental at 3:52 PM
1 Comments:
Mike, this is really scary to read, but I am very glad you are sharing your experience!
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