Day before #12
No doubt that things just, in general, seem different, better. I have this feeling like its Spring and I have all of these new opportunities to look forward to that were not present before. The change is very hard to explain. Everyone has experienced a “bad mood”, when everything just seems bad and nothing seems to be going right or bringing happiness. We all have them, from time to time. Mine had just lasted for several years, almost continuously, in varying degrees of “bad”, but never going away. Even times in the last couple of years which should have been nothing but “good” were tainted in some way by worry or dread or bitterness. And now, at least for now, all of that seems to have gone away. Things just have a better feel to them, in general. There are things I could be worried about: Not having a job after my short-term disability runs out next week, money, and similar issues. But I know that those things will work themselves out if I am (we are) diligent. In a nut shell, it feels like the clouds are going away for the first time in as long as I can remember (which, at present, isn’t very long.)
Treatment #12 is tomorrow. I am becoming less excited about treatments, but only because the side effects seem to be growing quickly in severity with each treatment. Short term memory is very spotty, and nausea is an increasing problem.
I met with my therapist today for the first time since starting ECT. Mark was an opponent of ECT from the outset. His only experience with the treatment was a long time ago, when a friend of his during the teen years was forced to undergo ECT. Mark’s recollection of the side effects are that his friend was a “zombie” for months and months afterward, but there was no real benefit. I think it surprised him to see that I’m not a zombie, and that I am “better” (even he commented that my affect was better than he had ever seen.)
Went to lunch with Melissa and Maggie today, and then to family therapy at Mic’s place. Mic gets discharged tomorrow and will be moving back home. The challenges never cease!
So, #12 tomorrow at 12:30. Then, I think the plan is for 3 more next week, and then a gradual taper.
Treatment #12 is tomorrow. I am becoming less excited about treatments, but only because the side effects seem to be growing quickly in severity with each treatment. Short term memory is very spotty, and nausea is an increasing problem.
I met with my therapist today for the first time since starting ECT. Mark was an opponent of ECT from the outset. His only experience with the treatment was a long time ago, when a friend of his during the teen years was forced to undergo ECT. Mark’s recollection of the side effects are that his friend was a “zombie” for months and months afterward, but there was no real benefit. I think it surprised him to see that I’m not a zombie, and that I am “better” (even he commented that my affect was better than he had ever seen.)
Went to lunch with Melissa and Maggie today, and then to family therapy at Mic’s place. Mic gets discharged tomorrow and will be moving back home. The challenges never cease!
So, #12 tomorrow at 12:30. Then, I think the plan is for 3 more next week, and then a gradual taper.
posted by DeMental at 4:03 PM
1 Comments:
Wow! I am so happy that you are doing better, Mike. It's very encouraging. I know the stress with Mic is going to be tough, but I am hoping this treatment has made you more able than ever to handle it. Your body has to be exhausted from basically going into surgery every few days. I know you'll be glad to taper down. Long-term, how does this work? Do you have to go for a treatment every x months or something like that?
Thanks for bloggig!
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