Treatment #19

Today was ECT session #19. 19!! I can hardly believe that something that was that scary to begin with (one of the scariest things I’ve ever done) is this run-of-the-mill now. My Beck score today was 11, which is one of my best scores, but not the lowest ever. I keep recognizing that something is troubling my mind, but I’m having trouble putting my finger on what it is. My overall mood seems good, but I realize that nothing is really bringing me much pleasure, and I’m finding myself thinking about my work future a considerable amount.

I didn’t sleep good after 4:30 this morning. It could have been that fact that I had to be up by a certain time this morning (7:15), and I was concerned that I wouldn’t wake up again in time. I had fretful repeating dreams in which the same things seemed wrong over and over, preventing the desired outcome. But, as usual, I can’t remember what the problem was or what the desired outcome was.

My veins in my arms are taking issue with the frequent IVs more and more. Today, a vein in my hand refused to cooperate, so the IV wound up in the big vein in the bend of my right elbow (they don’t like to use that one, and prefer the hand, for some reason). The seizure today was 16 seconds peripheral and 36 seconds EEG. Not the best ever, but plenty to be therapeutic. I was in the OR at 9:30 and in Recovery by 10:10 (Recovery II at 11:40). I had 3 cc of Fentenyl in Recovery to kill my headache. Everything felt pretty good otherwise, except for a little dizziness. My blood pressure was good today, ranging from 98/65 (10:15) to 140/78 (11:00). Had a couple Percocet just before leaving the hospital for pain.

I was really nauseous on the drive home and afterwards, and have had no appetite. My ears have really been ringing since I woke up in Recovery. I was home and resting by 12:45.