Have I really done this 28 times???
Treatment #28 really hit me hard. My doc said she wanted to spread treatments back out to every 3 weeks or so, and that I might have some rough times between, but to use the Risperadal and make it through them. Insurance only authorized 3 more treatments at Porter (1 of which I did Friday as #28), and then I would have to start going to Centennial Peaks. Not sure I could use another provider comfortably at this point.
I think IÂm starting to see a harder hit from the treatments now, which is probably equivalent to the Âdamage others have talked about. Seems that after ÂX number of treatments, while subsequent treatments might have a therapeutic effect, they may also begin to cause more harm than good. This one really left me confused and lost. I got home and couldnÂt remember how to use the remote control for the TV at first. Strange.
I can say for certain that, after 28 treatments, I feel infinitely better than I did before I started. I have also learned a lot about my illness and where my trigger points are. One thing IÂve learned is that the manic or obsessive side leads to the depressive side. In other words, manic episodes or becoming obsessed with something and letting that obsession or mania dictate my day, more often than not, leads to a very depressive day the following day. Using Risperadal, I can head off those manic episodes, it seems, and work at whatever IÂm doing in a more reasonable fashion. Maintaining control of my work habits and focus allows me, most of the time, to avoid feeling depressed the following day (or days).
I have also discovered that, if not for financial concerns (worries about money), there would be few, if any, Âbad days in the last several months (since ECT began to make me feel better.) While manic episodes lead to depression, there seems to be a required financial concern ingredient as well. Without the mania combined with worry about money, the depressed days donÂt seem to come, or at least donÂt come with the ferocity that they might otherwise have.
We set a goal of May 15 to have our home ready to go on the market. In the less than a week since we made that decision, we have been working day and night to get things ready. It pisses me off that we have lived here for 10 years and not done some of the Âupkeep things we are doing now to get the house ready to sell. In the next house, these little things like painting and cleaning and fixing doors and cabinets are things that I will remember to do to keep the house in good shape for our enjoyment, instead of making the house better for a buyer.
Went to a friends home today for Easter lunch. There were several other families there as well. There was one family I had never met. We wound up at a table with them for lunch (not by accident, I later found out.) As it turns out, the gentleman of this other house also suffers from depression, is not currently working, has a wife who is supporting the household at present, and has a son in my daughter's class. It was amazing how much we have in common, and how similar our situations, stresses and realities are. I had a great 2 hour conversation with "George", some of the time with our wives involved, and some without. George doesn't enjoy the manic side of the ride, but struggles with chronic, recurring clinical depression. He, too, has tried most of the anti-depressants (both MAOI and SSRI families). His shrink has mentioned ECT, but until today, George hadn't gotten much real information on the treatment. Thanks to many of the people who read this blog and contribute regularly, my knowledge extends far beyond my own experience. While I was able to relate my positive experiences with ECT, I was sure to let him know that I have many "friends" who have been treated, both people I've met through this blog and at the hospital, and not alcompletelyad comp0letley positive things to say about the treatment. It was simoply amazing how much there is that he and I see the same way, how many things that we share in focus and perspective, and how many trials, worries and motivators he and I share. George, if you find yourself here, reading this blog, please know that I enjoyed our conversation very much, I would be glad to talk again at your convenience, and I'm always here for support should you find yourself in need. I am very open about my illness, I find that sharing with others is a great way to learn about myself, and I encourage everyone afflicted with depression or bipolar disorder to take an active role in educating others. If not for my own illness, I would likely be one of those people that think depression is "all in your head" and an affliction of the weak, to be overcome by a positive mental attitude. Being a sufferer if the illness, myself, I have learned (the hard way) that depression is much more than a weakness. It is an organic illness that needs to be aggressively treated by those it afflicts, and that it is nothing to be ashamed of or to hide from those around you. One of the best ways to battle this illness is to educate those that don't suffer from it, and in doing so, educate yourself about your own mind and how it works.
Take care guys. Reach out and lend a hand to someone you know, today, who suffers from a mental illness. Show him/her that someone understands and cares about them. A little effort goes a long way in that arena. I look forward to tomorrow, and the information it holds about where my future leads.
I think IÂm starting to see a harder hit from the treatments now, which is probably equivalent to the Âdamage others have talked about. Seems that after ÂX number of treatments, while subsequent treatments might have a therapeutic effect, they may also begin to cause more harm than good. This one really left me confused and lost. I got home and couldnÂt remember how to use the remote control for the TV at first. Strange.
I can say for certain that, after 28 treatments, I feel infinitely better than I did before I started. I have also learned a lot about my illness and where my trigger points are. One thing IÂve learned is that the manic or obsessive side leads to the depressive side. In other words, manic episodes or becoming obsessed with something and letting that obsession or mania dictate my day, more often than not, leads to a very depressive day the following day. Using Risperadal, I can head off those manic episodes, it seems, and work at whatever IÂm doing in a more reasonable fashion. Maintaining control of my work habits and focus allows me, most of the time, to avoid feeling depressed the following day (or days).
I have also discovered that, if not for financial concerns (worries about money), there would be few, if any, Âbad days in the last several months (since ECT began to make me feel better.) While manic episodes lead to depression, there seems to be a required financial concern ingredient as well. Without the mania combined with worry about money, the depressed days donÂt seem to come, or at least donÂt come with the ferocity that they might otherwise have.
We set a goal of May 15 to have our home ready to go on the market. In the less than a week since we made that decision, we have been working day and night to get things ready. It pisses me off that we have lived here for 10 years and not done some of the Âupkeep things we are doing now to get the house ready to sell. In the next house, these little things like painting and cleaning and fixing doors and cabinets are things that I will remember to do to keep the house in good shape for our enjoyment, instead of making the house better for a buyer.
Went to a friends home today for Easter lunch. There were several other families there as well. There was one family I had never met. We wound up at a table with them for lunch (not by accident, I later found out.) As it turns out, the gentleman of this other house also suffers from depression, is not currently working, has a wife who is supporting the household at present, and has a son in my daughter's class. It was amazing how much we have in common, and how similar our situations, stresses and realities are. I had a great 2 hour conversation with "George", some of the time with our wives involved, and some without. George doesn't enjoy the manic side of the ride, but struggles with chronic, recurring clinical depression. He, too, has tried most of the anti-depressants (both MAOI and SSRI families). His shrink has mentioned ECT, but until today, George hadn't gotten much real information on the treatment. Thanks to many of the people who read this blog and contribute regularly, my knowledge extends far beyond my own experience. While I was able to relate my positive experiences with ECT, I was sure to let him know that I have many "friends" who have been treated, both people I've met through this blog and at the hospital, and not alcompletelyad comp0letley positive things to say about the treatment. It was simoply amazing how much there is that he and I see the same way, how many things that we share in focus and perspective, and how many trials, worries and motivators he and I share. George, if you find yourself here, reading this blog, please know that I enjoyed our conversation very much, I would be glad to talk again at your convenience, and I'm always here for support should you find yourself in need. I am very open about my illness, I find that sharing with others is a great way to learn about myself, and I encourage everyone afflicted with depression or bipolar disorder to take an active role in educating others. If not for my own illness, I would likely be one of those people that think depression is "all in your head" and an affliction of the weak, to be overcome by a positive mental attitude. Being a sufferer if the illness, myself, I have learned (the hard way) that depression is much more than a weakness. It is an organic illness that needs to be aggressively treated by those it afflicts, and that it is nothing to be ashamed of or to hide from those around you. One of the best ways to battle this illness is to educate those that don't suffer from it, and in doing so, educate yourself about your own mind and how it works.
Take care guys. Reach out and lend a hand to someone you know, today, who suffers from a mental illness. Show him/her that someone understands and cares about them. A little effort goes a long way in that arena. I look forward to tomorrow, and the information it holds about where my future leads.
posted by DeMental at 6:48 PM
1 Comments:
My brother-in-law has probably been on it for a little over two years now. Before his treatment, I had had no clue that ect could be conducted for so long.
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