Thursday, June 08, 2006

My turn in the "Watch Tower"

Today’s Business Section headline: “Selling your house? Good luck!” There are more houses on the market in Denver right now than ever in history. Over 30,000. What a time to be trying to sell our house, and quickly. I find myself trying to be the emotional strong point in the family today. Not a role I'm used to, nor one i could play six months ago even if necessary. Melissa is really down and sad. Stress from the house not selling, the job situation in Arkansas, her new part time job here, money, etc really seem to be getting to her. My mood has been pretty good all day. I wrote Melissa an e-mail trying to lift her spirits a little (and reminding her how absolutely amazing she is for her family, and that she is entitled to a down day or two), mowed the lawn, and wrote a letter to go in a card to my mother-in-law thanking her for all she has done to help us out through my treatment and some very tough times. We all really need for this move to Arkansas to take some steps forward. First, we have to sell this house.

I have begun teaching “private” swim lessons to kids on the neighborhood swim team who’s parents want them to improve. I used to teach lessons, group lessons, to kids that, for the most part, didn’t know how to swim at all. I’ve done a limited amount of coaching also. But as a state champion swimmer (THAT was a long time ago!) and someone with some extensive swimming background, I’ve had parents approach me about these lessons. I’m up to 3 “clients”, and I’ve talked to several others, each seeing me a couple times each week. I absolutely love doing the sessions. Its like working on a car engine. I check out how it runs, figure out where the problem areas are, tackle the big problems first and then tweak little aspects until I get a stroke that looks like I want it to and that works better for the swimmer. I tweak a kid’s freestyle stroke a little here, it throws off something in another place, and then I fix that little part of the stroke and find a way to get the whole stroke put back together and all of it working correctly in harmony. And then, I get to watch them swim faster and better at swim meets, and congratulate them on a great race. Very gratifying work, and the pay, per hour, is pretty good too. More than I’m making otherwise right now.

I have come to the conclusion that, in my head, what I’m really doing is what I saw (no kidding, in “Psychology Today” magazine) described as an “inner makeover”: Instead of thinking about things I can no longer do, focusing my energy on things I can contribute now that I couldn’t before (due to illness or time), such as being an influence and mentor for my kids, volunteer work in my community, and being a bigger part of my world than going to work every day and coming home and being generally miserable.

Another concept I am trying to get drilled into my head is that a sense of optimism and hope, gratifying relationships and purpose in life have much more influence on happiness, and much better defines who one is, than financial status and what one does for a living. With the changes in my life, this seems to me to be a poignant philosophy.

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