Thursday, August 31, 2006


Because our house hasn’t sold, and because we have had a couple would-be buyers walk away because of “pet smells” (aka pet urine smell), we are spending a couple grand having the carpets replaced today. It’s painful spending money to upgrade a place I don’t even live in anymore. Hopefully, this will do the trick and the house will sell.

My mood seems a little fragile today. Maybe I’m just feeling fragile. Last night, with a full load of alprazolam on board (that would be 2mg of extended release and 1.5mg of regular), I was very worried about what my mood today was going to be like. I don’t think that I've ever had that kind of concern before. Once I take the alprazolam (usually about 6:30 in the evening), I generally don’t worry about anything at all. And I usually don’t find reason to dread the next day’s mood. I usually don't see bad moods coming at all. So, maybe it was a self-fulfilling prophecy that my mood when I got up this morning was a little down. But I recovered nicely by staying busy and out of the house all morning and working from a list of “things to do” all afternoon. I feel like I’m walking on eggshells, waiting for the bottom to drop out. Maybe its just fear of depression in general. Whatever it is, the last 15 hours have been odd.


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